Hey, my dear ones.
Life sure has to be busy if you can't find time to write your blog for like.. 7 months.
It is weirdly hilarious just how many thoughts I have to share with people, but yet I still keep them all locked in my little head where I continuously proceed to sort and categorize them into little drawers. Sometimes my ideas and thoughts are all neatly in place, none of them wandering around. But just in a blink of an eye they can jump out of the drawers, put on loud Irish jigs and reels and start dancing like madmen in a pub.. in the middle of the night of course.
The story goes along the same way with memories. Boy, has this summer been mindblowingly awesome. That means that besides all the dancing ideas and thoughts, there are those little lovely memories swaying dreamily to the madmen's music.
So let's start from the beginning, right?
I can't believe it, but I actually graduated High School this year! It is finally over... Now I can finally say: I WAITED MY TIME! TWELVE YEARS OF IT, IN HIGH SCHOOL!
(Aaand I have waited my whole life to use that reference!!! :))
Yeah, well... let's be honest, high school isn't nearly as bad as Azkaban... maybe just a little. Some people at school are just like dementors who would like to suck every happy thought you have ever had out of you. They would like to see you as a morbid, soulless body that never smiles, never thinks and never succeeds. But these are just some people and their existence is compensated with bright and lovely teachers and students who make you smile just by being there for you. I just want to thank y'all. I would not have made it this far without you!
So I guess that chapter in my life is finished, or what chapter- It's more of a book, really. A book from a series about my life.
Now, have you ever felt like you don't want a book to end? You only have two more pages to read but you feel like you are so not ready for the blank book cover that is always going to be there when you finish reading the last sentence.
I have that feeling right.now. I don't want to end this chapter, I don't want to finish this book. Not yet. I feel like I am not ready for the end and definitely not ready for the new beginning. I am not ready to leave my job, I am not ready to leave the people there, I am not ready to leave my little town, I am not ready to leave my home.
Is this bird ready to fly out of the nest. And if she does fly, will she glide over the highest mountains and rest on the clouds, or will she land face first into the mud.. or worse, right on to the stone cold concrete floor?
No matter how strange and "idon'twanttoleaveyet" I feel, there is no other way than to finish those two pages of this book and start writing a new one.
It's new. It's scary. It's something unexpected. But it is sure as Hell going to be fun.
The next book will start when I am living in Tallinn and studying classical singing in Georg Ots' Tallinn Music School.
*inhale* *exhale* I can do this.
Love your life and the adventures the Universe gives you xx
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Growing Up
“If growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree, I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up! Not me!”
- J.M. Barrie
“One of the oddest things about being grown-up was looking back at something you thought you knew and finding out the truth of it was completely different from what you had always believed.”
- Patricia Briggs, Bone Crossed
“Where'd the days go, when all we did was play? And the stress that we were under wasn't stress at all just a run and a jump into a harmless fall”
- Paolo Nutini
“I don't think I'd have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I'd known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.”
- Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes: The Revenge of the Baby-Sat
“Home was not the place where you were born but the place you created yourself, where you did not need to explain, where you finally became what you were.”
- Dermot Bolger, The Journey Home
At Christmas Eve, I was struck by a sudden realisation- I am no longer a child.
I expected to feel like a grown up when I reached my 18th birthday but it didn't happen then, I didn't feel like an adult at all, all that changed for me was the fact that I could legally buy beer from a store or a pub and I didn't have to feel guilty or afraid of police when I took a glass of wine. Even the fact that I got myself a part time job, joined a political party and had to be responsible didn't make me feel like a grown up person, no, I was still a child who just did a lot of things and had many hobbies- work was and still is my hobby. I didn't know what growing up and being an adult meant, I could only guess. But now, half a year later from my 18th birthday, being a grown up is no longer a wild guess for me, I know exactly what it means for me.
You stop being a child when people around you stop treating you like a child, you grow up when even your loved ones see you as a grown up person. The knowing arrives when instead of a pile of presents you only get one present while all your younger relatives get four or five of them.
Just now it really starts to dawn on me that childhood is over, I am soon moving out of my home, I will graduate and never go back to high school, soon I am going to have to cook my own breakfast, lunch and dinner every day, I am going to have to worry about money and taxes and a whole bunch of other things needful for surviving in this world on my own.
People will start telling me to grow up, to not act childishly. No more stupid pranks nor climbing trees in the forest in the middle of the night. But that's not going to change me.
I might be an adult but I will never be a complete grown up in my soul. There will always be a little prank to pull on somebody or a playfull understanding of how the things work
In my opinion, we should never truly lose our inner child, we should embrace it from time to time. Of course we should bare in mind not to lose control over ourselves because grown up children can get pretty wild :P To have fun and let your creative mind and ideas flow, that is the purpose and aim of keeping the child in you alive even when you are 60.
After all.... being a grown up can't be that bad. Nobody knows what they are exactly supposed to do in this world, so we should just let our imagination flow and see where we end up. =)
(Dragons)
- J.M. Barrie
“One of the oddest things about being grown-up was looking back at something you thought you knew and finding out the truth of it was completely different from what you had always believed.”
- Patricia Briggs, Bone Crossed
“Where'd the days go, when all we did was play? And the stress that we were under wasn't stress at all just a run and a jump into a harmless fall”
- Paolo Nutini
“I don't think I'd have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I'd known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.”
- Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes: The Revenge of the Baby-Sat
“Home was not the place where you were born but the place you created yourself, where you did not need to explain, where you finally became what you were.”
- Dermot Bolger, The Journey Home
At Christmas Eve, I was struck by a sudden realisation- I am no longer a child.
I expected to feel like a grown up when I reached my 18th birthday but it didn't happen then, I didn't feel like an adult at all, all that changed for me was the fact that I could legally buy beer from a store or a pub and I didn't have to feel guilty or afraid of police when I took a glass of wine. Even the fact that I got myself a part time job, joined a political party and had to be responsible didn't make me feel like a grown up person, no, I was still a child who just did a lot of things and had many hobbies- work was and still is my hobby. I didn't know what growing up and being an adult meant, I could only guess. But now, half a year later from my 18th birthday, being a grown up is no longer a wild guess for me, I know exactly what it means for me.
You stop being a child when people around you stop treating you like a child, you grow up when even your loved ones see you as a grown up person. The knowing arrives when instead of a pile of presents you only get one present while all your younger relatives get four or five of them.
Just now it really starts to dawn on me that childhood is over, I am soon moving out of my home, I will graduate and never go back to high school, soon I am going to have to cook my own breakfast, lunch and dinner every day, I am going to have to worry about money and taxes and a whole bunch of other things needful for surviving in this world on my own.
People will start telling me to grow up, to not act childishly. No more stupid pranks nor climbing trees in the forest in the middle of the night. But that's not going to change me.
I might be an adult but I will never be a complete grown up in my soul. There will always be a little prank to pull on somebody or a playfull understanding of how the things work
In my opinion, we should never truly lose our inner child, we should embrace it from time to time. Of course we should bare in mind not to lose control over ourselves because grown up children can get pretty wild :P To have fun and let your creative mind and ideas flow, that is the purpose and aim of keeping the child in you alive even when you are 60.
After all.... being a grown up can't be that bad. Nobody knows what they are exactly supposed to do in this world, so we should just let our imagination flow and see where we end up. =)
(Dragons)
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